Owning spacious balconies and bidets distinguishes Europeans from Americans. Isabella Rosellini recently posted in instagram (Yes, I follow her!) a photo of her bidet and added: “For years my US friends made fun of my bidet. Now that toilet paper is so hard to find is my bidet enviable?” I tried to type a Brava! followed by a heart emoji but there were 1,713 comments piled up certainly not six feet apart.
We’ve been watching heartbreaking videos of Italians singing out in their balconies to make this health crisis look more artistic and less apocalyptic. (The word “balcony” comes from the Italian balcone.) But what about Manhattan? Our co-op building lacks those precious extensions, or even Juliet balconies. I suggested that our upstairs friend Ken and my husband, both accomplished singers, start a trend of vocalizing from the open windows. (They used to sing together in an a capella group for numerous years.) We’ll see if it takes on.
But going back to toilet paper, is it worth all this crazy hoarding? When I took a (solitary) walk last week around the neighborhood, I spotted a graffiti scribbled on a (solitary) construction site: “If this is Armageddon, why buy so much TP now: what you need clean is your conscience, not your ass.”
West Village, 3/31/2020