(verbatim from a Mail Chimp e-mail
received on 5/18/2020, with dissolutions,
NOT desilusions, and my annotations and flourishes)
“C A L L U S O L D –
F A S H I O N E D , but all of these newfangled [?] ways of figuring out when to plant your corn [corn or korn-gold?] or your kale [only for pesto!] or your cucumbers [looove ‘em!] seem to be making old wisdom sound like a new thing. We love a good app as much as the next person [?!?], but planting by the phases of the moon isn’t anything new. Gardeners and farmers have been doing it for ages. Best of all, it’s a fairly simple process. [that is, if you have the moon.]
Plant your annual flowers and vegetables that bear crops above ground during the light, or waxing of the moon — from the day the moon is new to the day it is full. Plant flowering bulbs, biennial and perennial flowers, and vegetables that bear crops below ground during the dark, or waning, of the moon — from the day after it is full to the day before it is new again. If you live in Area 3 (southern Canada and most of the northern U.S. except for the western half of Washington and Oregon), you can plant kale [again?] from May 15–31, but your most favorable days are May 22–31. [Hurry! Only 7 days left! What if I don’t like kale?]
If you want to learn more about how the moon influences agriculture here on Earth, [how about there on Mars?] plus a harvest of much more useful information, wit, and wisdom, [ . . . ]”
YOU can get it ALL and a bundle of BONUSES with a Strip-Tease® Almanac Cosmological Club Membership!” Please inquire soon! Offers like these don’t last a lifetime! And remember to stay safe!
— Williamsburg, Brooklyn, 5/25/2020